家的涵义：大四儿子和妈妈旅游心得
燕子注：儿子们放假刚到家就被我拉上路，从12/20到12/29凌晨1点，最后一天因为我反悔要去Charleston而产生分歧。他俩说我前一晚本来同意不去了，怎么又变卦，害得他们多往西北开了一小时，要是折返，势必要再多待一晚旅馆，其他计划也都作废了。他俩体谅我同意掉头，我虽很沮丧，但想到他俩假期还没真正到家呢，也就擦擦眼睛按了家的地址。2号在朋友圈发了几段旅游小记，引发大量反馈，没想到3号一早大儿子竟然给了我两张纸，以为是他的2019总结或Tesla游记，结果越看越吃惊感慨！吃惊的是儿子把家的涵义阐释得如此简单明了；感叹的是从何时，母子角色反转，他们不但一路筹划最佳线路，打电话订旅馆买票点餐，还负担着中年老妈敏感的神经？多年来在哈尔滨过夏天一俩月哥俩认为是在家里，他们把哈尔滨当成另一个家。这次长途也许是他们认为的“旅行”。看了第一段还以为就是说回家好呢，读了后几段觉得低估他了。
经同意分享，我的蹩脚翻译无法表现出Austin文字的恰如其分。
———
A Reflection
January 3rd, 2020
Austin
By the last day of the Orlando road trip, I had grown weary and a little bit homesick. I could tell Arnold was feeling the same way, and after our complaining had frayed her nerves, we punched the home address into our trustworthy Tesla, admittedly rushing the end of a trip when there were still sights to see. When we got back home, the days were filled with the familiar pillars that I had always cherished. Sleeping in, the safe small town feel, hours of playing video games downstairs, Mom’s food that I could really dig into, the “restaurants” like Hakata Ramen and Taco Bell that Arnold and I appreciated but Mom never really cared for, and of course, that one golden night where the entire family gathers to play the staple game that had followed me through my childhood: Rummy. As mom brought in the fruit (it happened to be pears and pineapples that day) and encouraged us to eat it, I thought, this is home. As Arnold and I teased Mom for being hypocritical in rushing our turns and perennially complaining about Dad messing up her grand orchestrated Rummy strategy, I thought, this is home. This is the origins of my homesickness, this is what I’ve been waiting to come home to.
But after the game wrapped up (with Arnold gloating as always), I thought to myself, yes this is home, but does that make Orlando any less home? Was the trip truly missing anything that we desperately needed and could only find here? As I revisited the moments that composed our trip, I realized that no, that wasn’t necessarily the case. Elements of home followed us wherever we went. Thanks to Mom’s unwavering pledge to always be the morning driver, Arnold and I did plenty of sleeping in, just in the Tesla back seat instead of our beds. Thanks to Mom meticulously packing our backpacks to the brim with apples, clementines, grape tomatoes and cucumbers, Arnold and I ate plenty of fruit, just while standing in line instead of on a dining room table. Thanks to Mom’s thick skin, Arnold and I did plenty of teasing, this time about a variety of topics instead of just her Rummy quirks. Thanks to Mom waiting in line for hours so that we could rest our feet, Arnold and I spent plenty of time playing games, just this time it was enabled by our own guessing game inventions rather than a television screen.
Of course, in the moment, standing for the third hour on a line two hours before I was used to waking up, home felt quite far away. But upon reflection, that road trip was never a far-off approximate from home because Mom had always brought it with us. The manifestations were always there: the Tesla backseat, the plastic bags of fruit, the tolerant acceptance of mild insults. Home is what you make it, and Mom was busy making it for us for the whole trip; we just didn’t appreciate it until the retrospect.
College breaks are a tricky thing. Coming back from living in a college dorm that feels like a year-round hotel, from a land of unfamiliar people that come close but never quite reach family status, from a busy schedule that keeps us perennially occupied with work, all Arnold and I wanted to do is settle into our familiar childhood nest and do nothing for a change. But on the other hand, coming from a perspective where being in one place 24/7 can be stifling, where the familiarity that Arnold and I valued are just routine, all Mom wanted to do was the refreshing novelty of getting out for a bit. But if this trip has taught me anything, it’s that home isn’t a place, it’s a sensation that’s anchored deeply, internally. Traveling away from home and the feeling of being at home aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive. With this new truth at heart, I eagerly await my next journey with mom, for wherever we go, we will be home. And maybe I shall plan it for a change.
奥兰多旅行最后一天，我已经有些疲倦和想家了，看得出弟弟也有同感，在我俩的抱怨把妈妈闹得招架不住后，我们把家里的地址输入到深得信赖的特斯拉里，虽然沿途还有地方值得去游览。到家以后，日子就是我一向熟悉的那样子了：懒床、享受小镇的安全舒适、打游戏几小时、细品妈妈的美食、去弟弟和我喜爱的东北餐馆和Taco Bell （虽然妈妈不待见这俩地方）。当然最重要的是全家围坐饭厅玩Rummy～～这是从我们儿时就有的家庭传统。
当妈妈习惯性把水果拿进来督促我们吃时，我想：这就是家！当我和弟弟挤兑妈妈一面催促我们快出牌，一面抱怨爸爸把她的“宏伟“计划都打乱了时，我想：这就是家！这是我旅途中想家的根源，这是我期待已久回家要做的。
但家庭游戏结束后（弟弟仍是惯常地自夸一下），我自忖：这确实是家，但奥兰多就不是了吗？我们一路的旅游真是缺少任何我们亟需的、只有家里才有的东西吗？我把旅游的细节又回想了一遍后意识到：不尽如此。家的元素一直紧跟我们的脚步。
因为妈妈坚持早上开车，弟弟和我得以早上睡懒觉，虽然是Tesla后座，而不是家里床上；妈妈细心地把我们的背包装满了苹果橘子小柿子黄瓜，弟弟和我吃了足够多的水果蔬菜，虽然是在排队时，而不在家里餐桌上；妈妈脸皮很厚，弟弟和我一直在开她玩笑，这次因旅行主题花样繁多，而不只是玩Rummy时挤兑她；妈妈帮我们排队一站就是几小时，弟弟和我得以歇歇脚，才有精力玩我们创造的猜字游戏，而不是电视前打电子游戏。（燕子注：儿子们发明的游戏深深吸引了我，其中一项是经济/金融/会计词汇首尾接龙，我们忘却了排队的无聊，最后虽然老妈以一个词险胜，会计教授的地位已经岌岌可危了哈哈。）
当然比我平时早起俩小时，排队仨小时感觉离家很远，但回想一下，这次长途旅行跟家从来就没遥不可及，因为妈妈一直把家带在我们身边。家的感觉无所不在：特斯拉后座、水果袋子、妈妈接纳我俩对她的调侃。家是你营造的感觉，而妈妈一直忙着给弟弟和我提供这样的氛围，但我俩直到回顾时才有了更深的体会。
大学假期很蹊跷：学校宿舍就像常年的旅馆，陌生人逐渐走近但远远达不到家人的地位，紧张的学业使弟弟和我终日不得闲，我俩在假期就想在熟悉的儿时老巢里无所事事。但另一方面，成天累月待在一个地方也许令人窒息，弟弟和我渴望的惯例对妈妈来说就是机械重复，她需要偶尔透透气。但我从这次旅行中受益最大的是意识到“家”并非一个地方，而是植根于内心深处的一种感觉。从这意义上来说，离家旅游和体会家庭气氛并不矛盾。这种新的认知让我对下次和妈妈的旅游充满期待，因为我们不论去哪儿，“家”都会跟我们在一起。下一回我来筹划旅行。
附：下面是作者1/2/2020在朋友圈发的短文
和儿子们Tesla开车旅行 12/20-12/28/2019 （29凌晨）除了途中标示的，各地local交通总距离将近3000 miles。我除了定了几天Orlando旅馆和建议去Bridge-Tunnel, 其他都是儿子们随着开车计划，哪里充电，哪里住宿，临时打电话约旅馆，找地方玩。每到一地之前把人口数量土地面积等等查看一下，所到之处能从商学院学生角度观察以及简单分析历史地理经济（虽然文化这一项实在有限）。虽然马不停蹄有些辛苦，他俩觉得the spontaneity is fun! 我当然更像小学生一样看着什么都新鲜（这一点要归功于俺记性不好，看啥都像第一次接触.)
本文转自《海外文轩》
